What an interesting topic this is. Since we are in this category, I asked hubby what he thought the secret of keeping love fresh in old age is. He said staying alive. Okay. I have to admit, staying alive helps if you’re going to stay in love. Or maybe…he means that staying alive IS staying in love. That as long as he breathes, his heart is mine. That each morning that he opens his eyes I am the sunlight in his day!
I swear, a bluebird just landed on the windowsill and starting singing.
Now he thinks I’m overthinking the whole thing. “Typical woman,” he says. “The secret is hand a guy a beer and show him something naked.” Yeah, right. Jack doesn’t drink alcohol and “something naked” with a chunky waist, cellulite in the thighs and breasts that hang closer to the knees than they did 20 years ago won’t do the trick—unless you’re really in love. Like all things in marriage and in life, keeping the flame burning takes some work.
- Never forget the other person. When we first got married, I resolved to always put Jack’s needs first. I grew up in the age where the wife served the man’s dinner first and then she ate. I didn’t quite go that far, but I did try always to pay attention to things he wanted and needed, and fortunately, he did the same for me. As we’ve gotten older, our needs have changed but we still try to watch out for each other: helping when stepping off the curb, reading a menu when we’ve forgotten our glasses, accompanying each other to doctor appointments.
- Love is more than sex. It’s no secret that sex isn’t as randy at 60 as it is at 20. That doesn’t mean it’s
nonexistent, and when it does happen it’s sweeter than ever. More than sex, touch is so important. When cuddling is as satisfactory, and touching his face is as magical as orgasms, you know that the romance is still strong. - The unexpected is still unexpectedly wonderful. Just
like the rose he brought when you were dating, or the love note you tucked into his lunch, surprises are still a sign that the other is in your heart and on the mind. And age has noting to do with that sort of thing. Who doesn’t appreciate the idea that their loved one kept up the romance of life by showing how much they’re thinking of you? - Keep doing things together. You wouldn’t have married someone you have noting in common with, would you? So it’s important as you grow older to keep doing things with each other. Exercise the body and mind, and laugh. What’s sexier than finding things to laugh at with the person you love?
- Find time for yourselves. This is more for your younger years when you might have children at
home, but even if you have a houseful of kids, you and your husband need time just to be alone. Having children can wear you out and capture every waking moment. But for love to stay alive, you need to recharge your batteries with your lover, refresh your conversations and just breathe in sync for a bit. The same goes for when you’re older. You might not need a babysitter, but you still need to spend time together. No reading all the time if he wants to go for a walk. The book will always be there later. No golfing for him if you want to go antiquing. Time spent together is time you share and will never get back. Each minute is a memory.
Really, the physical part of love does change with age. But when you have grown older with the man you’ve given your heart to, when you have a history and build memories together, love itself only gets deeper and better. Caring means more than saying, “I love you.” It means showing it–just like when you’re young–in the things you say and do each and every day. And to the best of my knowledge, that’s the best way to keep love alive into the golden years.
Read the next blog in the blog hop by going here.
Dee
One Woman Only: The Good Man Series, Book 2 Jonah’s story! Can a simple mechanic rekindle with his high school love? She says no, but Jonah loves a challenge!
Loved your Older Romance Dee. You and Jack have something very special together.
Your article says it all. My wife and I have been married for 54 years. Sure, things aren’t as hot as they used to be, but that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that we don’t care for each other anymore. We do things for each other not because we have to but because we want to. We’ve never put restriction on what we do. My wife never said, “That isn’t my job,” and neither did I. When I still worked, she made my lunch and it tasted so much better when I made it sometimes. She didn’t find it demeaning and I never complained or complain when I help her with the dishes. We do things together, like grocery shopping or shopping for clothes. We watch TV together and make sure we both enjoy the shows. If one of us doesn’t like a show, we just don’t watch it. Of course, there are times when we do things alone; that is important. The Golden Years can be just as exciting as the early years in a marriage, as long as couples don’t drift apart. Doing things together but still giving each other time to breathe without the other one present is important. A goodnight kiss before going to sleep always seals the bond and keeps it alive and strong.
Herbert, I love this comment! Now that I am also retired, Jack and I hardly ever go out without the other one. It feels strange! We’re a few years behind you (not many!) and it’s wonderful to hear from a couple still as much in love as we are. Thank you for writing!