I don’t think there is anything more debilitating than fear. It’s a major factor in what holds people back and keeps success just out of reach. And the sad thing is, fear of whatever, is hardly ever real. That is, the reality of what we fear often never comes to pass.
When Jack and I first thought about going trucking, I had all kinds of reasons why we shouldn’t. I was afraid of letting go of all we had, afraid of changing jobs in such a big way (I was working in the acquisitions department of a large county library at the time), afraid of what people would say, afraid of what my parents would say (they had just paid for their little girl to go to college!). I was afraid of so much, but mostly of failure. I wanted to go on the road in a big, bad eighteen-wheeler, but I was afraid. Then a friend sat me down and said, “Look, what’s the worst that can happen?” She pointed out that both Jack and I had parents who loved us and they wouldn’t let us live on the streets. So really, the worst that would happen if we failed was that we would go back to Virginia, find another apartment, find other jobs, and pick up where we left off.
Her words—and I’ll never forget them—were like throwing water in the face of a person shocked into a stupor. The worst that could happen suddenly didn’t seem that bad at all. And as it turned out, there was nothing to be afraid of. If I had let my fear hold me back, I would have missed eight of the best years of our lives. We saw more, did more, and became more than we’d imagined, and we were able to do it together.
When we moved to San Francisco, Jack proposed getting rid of our car. Our
only car. “What?” I practically screeched. “Do without a car???” I hadn’t been without my own transportation since I was sixteen except during my first three years of college. A car was independence, not just a vehicle. I was afraid to be without. What if I wanted to go somewhere?? Jack convinced me, however. The day we gave up the car, a weight fell off my shoulders. If there was a car alarm sounding, I knew it wasn’t my car. Pay the meters? Not us. And guess what. There was a cheapy car rental place about four blocks up the street. I think in a year and a half we used it twice. Fear would have added a burden to our time in the city if we had kept the car for those “what if?” times.
We shouldn’t let fear hold us captive, but I know that’s easy to say. And the sad thing is, fear is not only debilitating, it’s often dangerous. How many people have stayed in toxic relationships because they were afraid of the unknown if they left? How many kids have kept harmful secrets because of the fear some monster put in their minds? How many people have wanted to do the right thing about a situation but didn’t because they were afraid of the consequences? Fear can be harmful in more ways than we know. Fear can be a killer.
Fear is an emotion we can defeat if we take a breath and logically think through whatever is plaguing us. Stop, BREATHE, think, BREATHE, and then imagine the worst that can happen. If that “worst” is something you can live with—and it so often is—take the chance!
Read the next blog in the blog hop by going here.
Dee
Only a Good Man Will Do: Seriously ambitious man seeks woman to encourage his goals, support his (hopeful) position as Headmaster of Westover Academy, and be purer than Caesar’s wife. Good luck with that!
Naval Maneuvers: When a woman requires an earth-shattering crush of pleasure to carry her away, she can’t do better than to call on the US Navy. Sorry, Marines!