Who says romance heroes are unrealistic? Certainly not me. Yet every now and then, I hear rumblings of that persuasion and can’t help but feel there’s a secret “let-down lover” lurking behind that opinion.
I don’t think good romance heroes are unrealistic at all. To me, these made-up people embody vital relationship-improving qualities that decades of unhealthy relationship attitudes and toxic gender norms have conditioned us to neglect.
What qualities? I’m glad you asked. Here are my top 5, just to name a few…
1. They’re open to new experiences
If you’ve ever been in a relationship with anyone who poo-poos things just because they’re unfamiliar, you’ll instinctively know why this is a must-have for any desirable love interest. New experiences can be as big and adventurous as skydiving, or as small and emotionally thrilling as falling in love. It doesn’t matter.
What matters is the impact these experiences have on us, enabling us to grow. And how can a couple grow together if one of them is unwilling to grow at all?
2. They’re honest
A romance hero doesn’t lie to their partner. And any time they would consider it, they’ll have a damned good, ground-breaking reason. And still, they take the initiative to come clean eventually—which means not waiting until they’re caught out and lying is no longer an option.
Of course, it doesn’t have to happen right away. Honesty, and the vulnerability that comes with it, can develop as part of the romantic journey. But a good romance hero must own their honesty by the end of the story. There can be no Happily Ever After without it.
3. They’re kind
We’re all beholden to our ego in some way, but a good hero knows that love is more important than pride. If this hero had the choice between being right and being compassionate, they’d pick the latter any day of the week.
For them, life isn’t about winning or getting the last word in—it’s about cherishing the people they care about, and making the most of the time they have together.
4. They’re considerate
Is this the same as being kind? Close, but not quite. Kindness is great, but if you’re having to ask for it all the time, well, you may as well be dating a robot—that said, machines are getting very good at understanding and predicting our needs.
A considerate romance hero doesn’t need to be asked to put the effort in. Driven by a genuine interest in others and penchant for unselfishness, they actively learn to predict the needs of their partner and take it upon themselves to rise to the occasion.
5. They look after themselves
Finally, self-care. Awesome romance heroes don’t need to be muscle-man buff, but ideally they’ll eat as well as they can, get some exercise, and make time to process their thoughts and emotions. Life is hard and unpredictable, and sometimes we’re genetically, culturally, and socioeconomically destined to deal with certain setbacks and challenges.
So on that rare occasion where we can choose, why wouldn’t we choose the things that make life less difficult for ourselves and the ones we love? After all, a loving relationship means sharing the load of each other’s burdens. Genuine self-care is thus an act of commitment. It’s an act of true love.
About JL Peridot
JL Peridot writes love stories and more from her home beneath the southern skies. As the Nyoongar season of Bunuru kicks off in her city, she’s working on a sci-fi novel, hitting the gym, and enjoying Saturday morning cheese toasties with her real-life romance hero.
Subscribe to JL’s mailing list for banter, updates, teasers, and a free copy of her microfiction collection, Love, Nostalgia & Lights in the Sky.
Love, Nostalgia & Lights in the Sky
A collection of tiny stories, featuring previously published micro fiction, #vss (very short stories), flash and short poetry by JL Peridot. This book contains adult content of a romantic and sexual nature, and is intended for readers over the age of eighteen.
Subscribe to JL’s mailing list, Dot Club, for a free copy of this book.
Excerpt
From “Night Over the Valley” (micro fiction):
Sunlight warms the body, but the light from the planet warms the heart. That and his arms around my waist.
Wars are won and lost in the valley below. Who knows what horrors lay waiting, spattered across the canvas, when our low-orbit vessel crests the mountain horizon? With every pass, we capture the howling of animals, play them through the ship so everyone on board can hear the song, the requiem for a people who’ve forgotten how to love.
It’s why we stay away, they said. Centuries pass like nights while we look on, hoping we won’t be too old when the captain finally cuts the temporal acceleration and we can go home. But until then, we wait.
His hair still smells of Earth. He’s the sunlight on my back, his beard on my cheek the brush of pine fronds in the spring, his breath on my shoulder a summer breeze. My hand on the window a winter’s chill.
“I feel like we abandoned them.” I blink back an autumn rain. “Mutually assured destruction, they called it.”
He nuzzles my neck. “Nothing is assured.”
Subscribe to JL’s mailing list, Dot Club, for a free copy of this book.
I absolutely, positively, without question believe in TRUE LOVE. I believe because I’ve seen what it looks like and what it doesn’t look like. I’ve known some fine, wonderful women who have not won in love. Here are four ways I know true love exists.
we always talked about it and decided which solution best fit us as a team. He moved to Idaho because I had a job opportunity. I gave up my work in order to follow him while he succeeded at consulting. When I had such horrid back problems I could barely stand to get out of bed, Jack got up with me at butt-ugly o’clock and walked around the parking area until I could function, then he faced a full day’s work. He never complained. We’ve always accommodated each other for the good of the team and for love. NOT true love thinks of themselves and not the other person.
surprise ice cream sandwich from Sonic or a hot cup of coffee. 😉 Feeling cherished means giving the other person what they need when they need it. For me that includes hearing “I love you,” too, but it goes far beyond that. NOT true love might say the words, might give the big gifts, but doesn’t show the meaning beyond them.
Especially in this season, there is much to be grateful for. There is so much, in fact, how does one limit it to a few? Don’t know… But I’m going to try.
and I learned things I’ve never forgotten. It planted my feet firmly on the ground and centered me. Plus, it gave me a perspective on everything in life since. As hubby says, once you’ve started to jackknife coming down Donner Pass in a blizzard, the meaning of “stress” changes forever more.
experience things most people have not. I’ve been able to write. I’ve enjoyed both working and not working. I’ve been blessed, totally and sincerely. It’s such a wonderful feeling!