I absolutely, positively, without question believe in TRUE LOVE. I believe because I’ve seen what it looks like and what it doesn’t look like. I’ve known some fine, wonderful women who have not won in love. Here are four ways I know true love exists.
- The emotion has staying power. Jack and I spent a lot of time away from each other. All of the time we dated, I was in a different state or city from him. We wrote lots of letters and (less, because this was the time before cell phones) we called once a week or so. We did not see each other every weekend, we didn’t date exclusively, and except for a week or two during summers, we didn’t even see each other during school breaks. Even after we were married, after spending nearly every moment of ever day with each other in the truck, we spent months apart while he worked in one state and I worked in another. But we stayed in touch always and we communicated our thoughts, feelings, dreams. We never doubted our feelings for each other. We built a foundation that allowed us to overcome difficulties in being apart. NOT true love, gets bored and wanders off.
- The individual is not as important as the other person—or the couple. Many times over the years, Jack gave up comfort and things he wanted so that I could thrive. If one or the other had to prevail in a situation,
we always talked about it and decided which solution best fit us as a team. He moved to Idaho because I had a job opportunity. I gave up my work in order to follow him while he succeeded at consulting. When I had such horrid back problems I could barely stand to get out of bed, Jack got up with me at butt-ugly o’clock and walked around the parking area until I could function, then he faced a full day’s work. He never complained. We’ve always accommodated each other for the good of the team and for love. NOT true love thinks of themselves and not the other person. - Each person feels cherished. In a loving relationship, people don’t just say “I love you,” they show it. It can be in small ways like helping with daily activities or with a touch, a look, a smile when the other person needs it. Jack never gives me flowers, but he gives me humor. He’s not big on romantic gifts (see last week’s post) but he’s good with a
surprise ice cream sandwich from Sonic or a hot cup of coffee. 😉 Feeling cherished means giving the other person what they need when they need it. For me that includes hearing “I love you,” too, but it goes far beyond that. NOT true love might say the words, might give the big gifts, but doesn’t show the meaning beyond them. - There’s deep feeling, not superficial. I know that appearance is what draws people to each other at the beginning of a relationship, but I don’t think it’s what keeps them together. Love, unlike beauty, is more than skin deep. Whether you are model-beautiful or not, your true love sees the real you, not your outside shell. Think about it. If you have true love, you’re going to grow older with that person. None of us looks the same at 60 as we did at 20, but the soul stays as beautiful. NOT true love falls in love with the outside, not the inside, and then holds that against you.
Jack and I have been with each other for forty-six years of marriage and seven years of dating. Has it always been easy? Well, no. Being in love doesn’t mean you don’t have problems. It means that you work through them together, and with attention to your lover more than to yourself. I’ve been the luckiest woman in the world to be in love with the world’s best man (your sweetie excepted!). And what’s better, I’ve been loved back. That’s something I thank God for each and every night.
Read the next blog in the blog hop by going here.
Dee
Only a Good Man Will Do: Seriously ambitious man seeks woman to encourage his goals, support his (hopeful) position as Headmaster of Westover Academy, and be purer than Caesar’s wife. Good luck with that!
Naval Maneuvers: When a woman requires an earth-shattering crush of pleasure to carry her away, she can’t do better than to call on the US Navy. Sorry, Marines!